Bookraft

Traveling in the darkness that will become maximum in just 3 weeks, I am making the trek between Port Hope and my vital lifeline to the internet (the Port Hope library offers free Wifi based broadband service) to home in Warkworth. For the past 6 months this trip has been made with the primary accompanienemnt of 680 News and occasionally CBC Rural radio. News versus talk radio ... neither really a winning trade-off. Yes CFMX offers classical music but the station fades out about 15-18 minutes out of Port Hope. All else is noise on the dial.

Until I discovered audio books.

At the local library there is actually a small collection of audio books. But most are middle-aged Higgins and King and Rice Horror stories. But the libraries are united with a vengeance in Northumberland (and I have the tax receipts as proof). So I thought it would be worth my while to try to find a broader sampling of audio books in the Northumberland system. And to my surprise it was much more fulsome than expected. So now I could hopefully put that seldom tried CD player to good use. But now I had to make a choice from lietrally scores of titles.

Hmmm. Too many were from the Outside the Law firm of Chandler and Company, so I decided to try some classics: E.M. Forster, W.O. Mitchell and Jack Benny. Jack benny ? I asked myself later how could I have made such a cross-eyed mistake. i would have to take it back right aaway before it got misplaced and lost.

Wrong - and big time.

In the morning, I don't mind the news on the radio - it gets me up to speed on overnight events, weather and sport. But in the evening, I want to relax - and beyond the 18 minutes of classics and still 30 minutes of driving to go I need some story telling. So I fumbled with the CDs in the dark and I though I was putting A Passage to India in the CD.

First test - would the Audio Book CDs work in my prehistoric player ?

And suddenly I am hearing a curiously retro Canada Dry commercial - damn I switched on the radio. Then "Oh Rochester, Rochester" in unmistakable petulant tones comes through the loudspeakers followed by tumultuous applause and the a gravelly "Yes boss - oh I see you slept well last night you have your pajama tops and fancy suit pants on. What are you planning on doing at work today ? Kat nap through the rehearsals ?" Followed by and even more petulant " Now cut that out, Rochester. Cant you see I am in a pickle. Mary is supposed to be here in 5 minutes to pick me up and I can't find a shirt even worth washing . What did you do, give ..." and I am transported back 70 years in time to the worst of the depression years and millions of North Americans listening in on the Jack Benny show. And no more than five minutes later I and my millions of fellow travelers in time are chuckling out loud at some nonsense about a meeting Jack has to go to with Mary Livingstone (more applause)to try to smooth out the ruffled feathers of his Lucky Strike sponsors.

The problem is that Jack can't get out the Lucky Strike Jingle right and so in cloying fashion he tries to sweet talk the Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco jingle but still manages to botch it terribly. What follows are a series of sight gags on Radio. I can't believe it as first Jack sits in his sponsors chair, then apologizing profusely sits in Mary Livingstone's lap ("How did you get there") then pulls back his chair but sits on the floor and then can't get up in a dignified fashion. Now to my amazement I am laughing out loud. And then suddenly I am home - and so I have to sit in the car with the engine running to hear the end of the show. The neighbours must wonder - can he get out of his car seat ?

And what is equally amazing is that the jokes about Jack's penny pinching ways and exaggerated sense of his fiddling worth are telegraphed from a mile away - you can just guess what will happen when Jack Goes to the Racetrack or for a Free Sightseeing Tour. These are just two of over 40 radio shows found on Jack Benny: The Ultimate Collection of CDs. There are all the favorites: Mary and Rochester, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and announcer Don Wilson plus special guests like Bob Hope, Fred Allen, George Burns, Frank Sinatra, Red Skelton, Amos n'Andy plus a host of cameos - all accompanied by thunderous applause ( ever wonder where TV's Canned Laughter got its start??).

The Jack Benny Show is really a crafty mix of social satire and almost vaudevillian slapstick. Have a doubt ? Have a listen to Jack and Company in "Your Money or Your Life" and you will see what I mean.